An angel appeared in yesterday's reading. Another angel appears today, in The Annunciation story (Luke 1:26-38), telling Mary that she is to bear a child, who will be called Son of God.

I was ordained priest on March 25, 1988, the Feast of the Annunciation. As so often happens for me with momentous occasions, I don't remember many details -- I get so caught up in the event that it all just washes over me. I do remember being somewhat annoyed by the sermon, in which we ordinands were told that we were now "married to the church," seemingly implying that every other relationship had to take second place. I disagree! (But more of that later.) What continues to stick with me every time I come to re-read this text is Mary's final "Yes!"

‘Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.’

It seems to me that Mary stands in a long line of people who have received special calls from God. Some are called to big things, like Moses, Isaiah, or Mary. Others -- far more numerous -- are called to less spectacular vocations. I believe that every baptised person is called to some special ministry, but I also know that many people have no specific sense of vocation, and certainly could not name a time and place when the call came to them. Calls can be dramatic, like Moses at the burning bush, or gradual, like the people who work tirelessly for the church because "that's what they have always done." 

But even those people can hear the call more clearly, in my experience often when a life-changing event has happened. When the call comes, and the initial fear has been allayed, the only fitting response is "Yes! -- not my will but yours, Lord."

Well that's easy to write down, but it's far harder to live it. I believed with all my heart that I was called to parish ministry, and that I would go where God called. The first reality of that call did not work out the way I thought it would, and I was quite unhappy about it. My priest-mentor said something like, "What's your problem? You knew what the possibilities were when you were ordained." To which I replied that it was one thing to know what I was called to do, and quite another to live it out.

For me, at that time anyway, the problem was that the church did not seem to see me as "whole person," with family ties and responsibilities. I was just a (generic) priest, and should do what the bishop said without complaint. After all, wasn't I "married to the church?" Well, maybe, but I was also married to my wife, and had been for much longer. Surely my first responsibility was to my family, and to see to their happiness and well-being?

I have since spent much time meditating on the ordination vows, including the one to "model my life ... so as to be a wholesome example for my people." The call to ordained ministry is a call to serve God and God's people, to be sure, but that service has to be based in a healthy lifestyle, beginning at home. I can not serve God in the church if I do not honour the vows I made in marriage.

Behold, I am the servant of the Lord.
Lord, give me the grace to discern your call daily.